Please don't say this to me.
I have such problem with this way of thinking. I can't have children of my own, have had three miscarriages, and yet my sister-in-law has a little one at 16 who has "special needs" and goes on to leave her in a crib wallowing in her own vomit alone, with the door closed, for 16 months before DCS FINALLY stepped in. Now, we're playing catchup with all of the surgeries and therapies that she should have had when she was teenincey. Actually, she's still teenincey because of her mother's neglect. And I don't care that she was/is a child - blah, blah, blah.
God didn't do this to my sweet little one. God just didn't. God may have intervened through the hands of DCS, and then mine, but God did not cause my little one to suffer. Her birth mother did.